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Tonight is a thought filled night. I'm preparing for my trip to Cali. It's been a while since I've been "home", and I'm really excited to be headed west. I'm realizing that, after leaving several years ago, there are only a few people that I really NEED to see....is that awful to say? I mean, I lived there 1o years! How is it that you can share such formidable years with friends & then be ok not to see them? It kind of makes me feel bad, like I'm being disloyal. Yes, we all have our faults, but I'd like to think that loyalty is not one of mine. When you have so few hours, how is one to choose who is MOST important in your life? Is it really possible? Doesn't each person fill a certain, little spot? I hope so... and, I think I've come to terms with that. I HOPE that I can fill a certain spot for my friends. How awful to not, right? I mean, to just be on the fence about everything...or to be neither here, nor there? Ambivalent? I want to be the kind of person who represents something- who stands for something! I know I've got a ways to go but I sure hope that I am headed in the right direction...love me, or hate me, may you know who I am.
Here's hoping that I can fill a certain, little spot in this world...cuz honestly, that is all I dream to do. To my friends, who have made a special impact on my life, thank you. Cheers to the next 10 years, and all of the new discoveries it may bring.
A little melodramatic right now, I know, whatevs (see above).
New music soon...
xjen
